Literotica by yours truly.

Well well what with this going on here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQyRxJLbyr0

I decided to add the text versions. The first edition which is read in the video, and the longer version which is more drawn out and with even more unnecessary disgusting details.

i am running my hands through my neckbeard imagining that its juliet's sweet carress. her soft tender whispers into my fat hairy chin as she reasurres me that she is interested in my personality as a youtube pooper. my near permanent flaccid cock begins to stir in my grey underwears. i push through the fly as i try to extract my somewhat hard member, brushing past the pee stain from a half hour ago when i misfired while going on the toilet. juliet, tell me how much you love my youtube poops. god your poops are so random and hillarious, and you're just so fucking funny hahahha, she says and my heart and penis begins to flutter. i fondle my staggering cock once more, imagining it to be her soft feminine hand, and i picture her wide luscious thighs calling to me.then she takes off her glasses and looks at me with her glistening diamond eyes and gives me a long tender kiss with her womanly features. juliet turns around, winking at me with a girlish giggle, and pulls down her panties exposing her enormous delcious butt cheeks, resembling ripe grapefruits which i promptly dove my mouth in between and slobbered over like a bloodhound. i looked up for a second as i heard juliet whimper, and i saw her turn around to be Big Jeffery as he yelled "NOT IN MY POOOOOPER" and shot out a typhoon of diarrhea shit onto my face from his enormous fat black asshole. he started rocketing around the room, shooting out chunky corn-and-carrot-filled turds all over the place until i was in danger of drowning in the room and just as it filled up he rocketed through the cieling and into deep space, where he caught in orbit of the Earth and began spraying diarrhea all over the world until the planet was completely covered in shit. Then Big Jeffery died and we never saw him again.

LONGER VERSION

I find myself alone on another Saturday night, looking out at the stars and taking an enormous shit on my neighbor's roof when I begin thinking of her, that special someone, Juliet. I know the name sounds a little cliche, and I'm no Romeo, but as I leap onto my garage tarp and stumble onto my sedan door, spraying blood from my sliced up ass cheeks I think of just how beautiful she is. I walk back inside and offer a sacrificial dog, filled with gallons of my collective semen from the last month and covered in piss, to the great Olmec God of War Xt'Tapalatakettle by lighting it on fire then sit down in my favorite chair while watching it burn. I am running my hands through my neckbeard imagining that its juliet's sweet carress. her soft tender whispers into my fat hairy chin as she reasurres me that she is interested in my personality as a youtube pooper. my near permanent flaccid cock begins to stir in my grey underwears. i push through the fly as i try to extract my somewhat hard member, brushing past the pee stain from a half hour ago when i misfired while going on the toilet. juliet, tell me how much you love my youtube poops. I begin to see her in my imagination, a ripe young beauty of unimaginable girth and divine sexiness. god your poops are so random and hillarious, and you're just so fucking funny hahahha, I want you to fuck me so hard for hours on end in my mouth and shoot your hot semen in my ears until I am deaf. she says and my heart and penis begins to flutter. I see her masculine jaw grind down a brick and it drives me wild. i fondle my staggering cock once more, imagining it to be her soft feminine hand, and i picture her wide luscious thighs calling to me.then she takes off her glasses and looks at me with her glistening diamond eyes and gives me a long tender kiss with her womanly features just before vomiting all over my face and forcing it down my mouth. It is so delicious and it absolutely makes me insane with lust for her, the sexiest 94 year old who ever lived. She shoves her breasts in my face, incredibly huge and brimming with fat and she suffocates me with them and punches me in the testicles for about 13 minutes. While I am still gasping for air and begging for more, juliet shoves a small spanish child up my anus, making me piss all over her face. juliet turns around, winking at me with a manly chortle, and pulls down her adult diaper exposing her enormous delcious butt cheeks, resembling spoiled watermelons which i promptly dove my mouth in between and slobbered over like a bloodhound. She quickly called out "No, not my rectum, I never wipe!" which only gets me hotter and hornier until I have a huge boner the size of the Empire State Building. She starts to scream and I slam my angered fist into her anus I looked up for a second as i heard juliet whimpering, and i saw her turn around to be Big Jeffery as he yelled "NOT IN MY POOOOOPER" and shot out a typhoon of diarrhea shit onto my face from his enormous fat black asshole. he started rocketing around the room, shooting out chunky corn-and-carrot-filled turds all over the place until i was in danger of drowning in the room and just as it filled up he rocketed through the cieling and into deep space, where he caught in orbit of the Earth and began spraying diarrhea all over the world until the planet was completely covered in shit. Everyone on Earth soon began suffocating from the horrible stench and those who would survive quickly drowned in it. A spaceship of survivors tried to escape to the moon but it collided with Big Jeffery in orbit, sending him rocketing into the cosmos. Then Big Jeffery died and we never saw him again.