Wednesday, March 11, 2009

IMPORTANT UPDATE: Where I've been!

This last Thursday I get sworn in as the emperor of some African tribe and as I am lounging about with my harem of voluptuous dark skinned concubines I find myself bombarded with army ants carrying the entire acre of land away. I get on the phone with the army ant zoning permit authority and they tell me that my whole tribe is in the middle of army ant holy ground. Well that just baked my boxers. Me and several of aforementioned concubines went downstairs to the armory and equipped ourselves with standard issue flamethrowers and practically burnt down the whole fucking Amazon. I suddenly found myself in a crate filled with fire ants being sent to Australia. That's airport security for you!

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